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..probably belonging to your mother, sister, wife, girlfriend, painted with makeup and nail polish......masturbating away as you wallow in a deluge of girlie sensations - the soft friction of you sheer stockinged legs brush aghast each other and pretty panties around you waist, the tight embrace of a woman’s around your flat chest......immersed in girlie thoughts and girlie emotions.But all the while, there is this fear in the background - a fear of being caught in her stockings and underwear. So whilst you indulge yourself in girlie ecstasy and effeminacy, there is this common discomforting interface with the real world as you repeatedly peek through the blinds, or from behind the curtains lest she arrive home earlier than expected. The guilt builds up and conflates with an intense shame.“Boys and men don’t dress up in stockings and women’s underwear and masturbate.” “Why does feeling all girlie and effeminate feel so good?”“I must be some kind of depraved pervert, a queer, a fag”.. Ostracised for god knows what reason and Melissa's favouriteverbal punching bag when less than 24 hours beforehand she was one ofher best friends. From what I can tell, the same applies for Allie aswell, and could just as easily happen to me if I ever so much as put aword wrong... But then again, Melissa IS the most popular girl inschool, she's effectively entitled to choose who she wants to be friendswith. Well, for the next six weeks, anyway, until we leave school. Butshe CHOSE to be friends with me. Lydia CHOSE to be my girlfriend. Whywould they now slag me off behind my back if they're supposed to be myfriends? Even if we do spend a lot of our free time slagging off half ofthe school- including George...Melissa and her gang do seem to spend a lot of their time- most of OURtime- slagging off the other kids in school they- WE- consider less coolthan us. And while we weren't above the odd bit of gossip, the ExcellentEight were never as nasty as we were to George today. I shouldn't.
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